Bride, Interrupted
Am I my something blue?
There is nothing quite like the rush of one’s first engagement.
1987 was a thrilling year, as one of my many playground suitors, Andrew Carr, finally suggested we tie the knot conveniently in the proceeding week’s chapel service (there had to be some perks to attending a private Episcopal preschool…no planning or permission slips required). Being four years old and probably much more precocious than anyone deemed necessary, I’d already pictured my long walk down the aisle, using my bath towel as a place holder to try on my veil. So much prep, so little time.
From that late 80’s sandbox romance, I always dreamed I’d grow up to be a professional, elegant and effervescent bride - decisive with minimal drama, appropriate, tasteful florals strewn about the cathedral, and ultimately an exquisite regime of calendared beauty prep, wellness deep-dives and rigorous regimes that made me “I do”- ready from toe to tip. Any beauty whim was free for the taking, in the name of the greatest catwalk one mortal can hope to strut. Glowing, blessed and beautiful bliss. Praise be.
It would be prudent to clarify I was never embarking on a career of husband-hopping, and while it was not in the cards for young Andrew and myself, the initial blush of actual engagement pours a flurry of questions into one’s mind, so many of which are beauty-centered. This was the moment I’d been waiting for, the perfect excuse to be given carte blanche on all my bridal beauty dreams. My pinterest boards filled with brightening and buffing techniques and how to really nail down that perfect nude lip. My days were packed with additional pilates classes and the weekly infrared sauna sesh, as I refused to feel anything but my best come (the) dress shopping only a few months down the line. My calendar was set, my plan in action. Nothing could’ve halted my will to emerge the bubbly and blushing best-version-of-myself.
Something old, something new as the saying goes, but no one seems to know where broken bridal dreams go to die. The world shuttered its doors in early spring 2020 and any impending wedding wishes were left in the bucket of ‘trivial and forgotten.’ We washed our hands and wore our masks, prayed for those in danger and offered thanks for our seemingly sustained health. Postponements were sent, many tears (mine) shed and the tumultuous year turned into another, still very much engaged, but now looking to the future with a very heavy dose of wedding apathy.
Audrey Hepburn in the 1957 film ‘Funny Face’. // Getty Images
A beauty pAradise lost?
Without rehashing the tragedies of the past year, a small glimmer of hope emerged in the early spring in the from of vaccine calendars and soon-to-be opened borders. What didn’t quite catch fire however was my inner wedding-glow or any ambition to enlist in the next bridal bootcamp. I was feeling more fluffy than fabulous after 3 lockdowns in France and my motivation for hair trials and dress fittings was on par with getting a root canal. I’d unfollowed bridal accounts on insta to avoid the constant onslaught of white dresses and candlelit smiles, and I continued to sidestep any discussion when my fiancé brought up the inevitable need to replan our nuptials, with the guestbook now spanning six countries. My fabulous coterie of girlfriends offered unfaltering support, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t help but feel alone and detached from all of it… after all, what bride before 2020 had any bigger concerns than a pushy in-law or a little rain.
Eventually bitter and morose does not a good look make, and I knew I had to shake myself back into the little-girl dreams of a long aisle and my handsome prince waiting at the altar. Our love story was to be celebrated amongst our favorite people (or those who could get in French borders) and it was our shared life ahead that needed to take center focus, albeit with a bit of room to rediscover my bubbly spark.
Challenging, but not impossible:
Below my recovering-Rona-Bride Primer, with a little help to bring back your bubbles.
MOVE
Zoom apéro’s and 24/7 lululemons made not for my sveltest silhouette, and trying on the my wedding dress at my first fitting revealed that yes, kilo’s are real and leggings are liars. I subscribed to Melissa Wood’s 7 day trial hoping I would truly hate it and could move on, but in fact no, this svelte, generous and (insanely in shape!) New York mom of two has been my daily friend across the pond who motivates me for both body and mind. I combined her flows that range anywhere from 20-40 minutes, with my favorite Pure Barre GO workouts, and was quickly reminded that I do in fact have a feminine figure below the quarantine puff.
Low impact, high burn. Sweat out the remnants of 2020 with a handful of fabulous women on your screen. It’s adddictive.
*📷 MWH IG: Jeff Thibodeau
NOURISH
The ‘gram might tell you that green smoothies for breakfast and dates in your snack bag are what keep you camera-ready, but my body thrives with less sugar, more protein and an array of veggies. I started listening to the likes of Dr. Jason Fung and Dr. Berg on YouTube, and my scale and waistline have been more the happier for it. Find what works for you, but inner beauty is outer glow and there is no motivation like feeling your best.
DÉTOX
Always one up to try a potion, this liquid magic is packed with a powerhouse of extracts like milk thistle, dandelion, chlorella birch sap, green tea + maté for a delicious AM start to your draining and detox plans. Vitamins C + E protect against oxidation stress and Amino Acids help keep you in fighting shape. Taste is light and fruity; add 20ml to your water bottle each morning.
GAIN PERSPECTIVE
While it wasn’t only my body needing extra care, the anxiety and stress of last year had left me feeling utterly flat. I’d purchased The Clarity Cleanse by Dr. Habib Sadeghi years ago but only just now pulled it off the shelf in an act of utter boredom. Centered around negative emotional waste and how it impacts our physical self, I found the book and subsequent exercises revelatory and even pivotal in how I viewed oncoming stressors. Keep an open mind, and it might shake you up a bit.
SUPPORT
A pill is not a promise, but these herbal concoctions handcrafted by Arizona acupuncturist and herbalist Dr. Shelby Ramirez were truly the pick-me-up I didn’t know I needed. Mount Sunny Big Sun offered warm, uplifted energy while Happy Tree subtly elevated my mood and cleared that feeling of languishing I’d been so long pushing against. No side effects, and a rather chic bottle on the countertop. A perfect (almost) post-Pandemic partner.
PLAY (+ INDULGE)
Shaking the would-be-bridal blues is not an easy task, but a little indulgence in the name of self-care doesn’t hurt and there’s no other woman I can imagine inspiring more than the wise and talented Andreea Ali.
A fellow Libra and artist extraordinaire, her passion for finding your most beautiful self is intoxicating, and her YouTube channel is akin to a girlfriend offering the right pep talk at just the right time. In her words exactly, you have to always ‘own it’ and her wisdom on the other side of my screen is often times just the dose of inspiration I need. (Or the latest lipstick I can’t live without).
Share your fave tips to shake the panny-blues below, as we toast to a more glamorous life in the After Times.
xx
Blair